Divorce stress can be more intense and overwhelming than daily stress, but with specific coping tools, you can find relief.
There are few things more stressful in life than going through a divorce. Not only is it a painful and emotional process, but for most, it’s also a logistical and expense-laden ordeal.
Experiencing high levels of stress while navigating a divorce is a given for most people. For many, it can make just getting through basic daily tasks a challenge.
There are some useful and proven methods that can help ease the stress of a divorce.
It’s crucial to understand the way stress from divorce can manifest. Knowing what to look for can help you manage the effects of divorce stress.
Most of us experience stress daily, and some of us have coping strategies to help us manage it. But divorce stress is outside the norm, with a level of intensity that requires some new and deliberate coping mechanisms.
If you’re experiencing stress from divorce, consider the following tips to help you cope.
It’s OK to not be OK. Recognizing how you feel and examining those feelings can help you learn to manage them.
When a marriage breaks up, there’s a mourning period. It’s the end of the life you and your spouse once shared. Feeling sad, angry, disappointed, and scared is natural. Ignoring these feelings won’t make them go away.
It’s common when going through a divorce for negative thoughts to become overwhelming. You may think you’re to blame or feel that you’ve let down your family.
Remember that divorce is complicated and it’s never the fault of just one partner.
A 2019 study found that positive self-talk — whether it’s done silently in your head or out loud in a car or to the mirror — can help improve your mental state and increase self-confidence and self-efficacy.
It’s tempting to play the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” game with ourselves. When our present is really uncomfortable, our minds will want to escape to the past. And if you’re going through a divorce that you didn’t want, you’ll be especially vulnerable to dwelling on your past.
The people in your life who care about you will want to help — consider letting them. Putting your discomfort and pride away and allowing yourself to lean on people you trust can be helpful for easing stress.
Consider connecting with others who are going through similar challenges. Support groups are a great way to build support and community around shared life experiences.
Some common divorce support groups are:
Group therapy may also be a good option to try.
Research from 2020 discusses how healthy eating can help you cope with stress. It’s easy to forget this when you’re feeling at your wit’s end.
Too often we skip meals, overeat, or just eat whatever is easily accessible. Try to make a concerted effort to put together healthy, balanced meals, skipping meals full of processed sugar and refined carbs.
Cutting back on caffeine and alcohol as much as possible can also be helpful.
Healthy eating can also help boost your immune system, raise your energy levels, and provide the internal balance required to cope with the stress of a divorce.
Movement releases endorphins, which can help expend pent-up negative energy and allow you to focus. Whether you hit the gym or take long walks, exercise is one of the best options for coping with stress.
Try to get the right amount of sleep for you — not too much and not too little. Depression and anxiety can cause either of those things to happen.
Aiming for the standard 7-8 hours as a goal and keeping a regular schedule can be helpful for easing stress.
This doesn’t have to be the “become one with the Earth” kind of mediation, but rather specific and deliberate quiet time dedicated to calming your thoughts and reflecting.
Effective meditation takes practice.
If you have racing thoughts and an anxious mind, meditation may initially feel like noise, confusion in your head, and pointless. But continued practice can help you overcome that and organize and quiet those thoughts.